So you’re sitting there thinking that you can make tacos already what’s so hard about using fish instead of beef or chicken in your taco. There is one glaringly obvious difference between my tacos and your tacos. Mine don’t suck! So sit down and pay attention and when I am done here you will be making the cancer* curing tacos I am talking about.
Anyone out there can put a hunk of fish inside a tortilla and call it a fish taco. No, it’s ok to snicker a little bit here. This is after all a blog aimed at guys. For that matter anyone can put anything inside a tortilla and call it a taco. I was threatened many times as a kid growing up that for dinner we were having dog food tacos if I didn’t stop asking. Fish tacos are n.. Are you going to snicker every time I say that? That was it? Are you good now? Anyways Fish tacos are nnn.. For crying out loud, SUMO! Go into the other room! No just get! ... I apologize to you folks. Some guys just can’t handle their sexual innuendos very well.
Fish Tacos are not that hard to make. There are a couple of details that you need to pay attention to that can turn a otherwise meh taco into something that really makes women rip their clothes off for you.**
Choosing your Fish
The type of fish you use is entirely up to you. Different regions are going to have a different selection of fish to choose from and so what someone in Texas uses will probably be different than what someone in Alaska uses. I like my fish like I like my women, White, Flaky, and not too fishy smelling. As with everything the fresher the fish the better tasting it will be. Today I will be using tilapia fillets although I also like the way Red Snapper works with these.
Corn or Flour
I love the way the corn tortillas taste with these. Now normally I would recommend making your own tortillas but I don’t have a tortilla press yet so I am going to use store bought tortillas. You can also use flour tortillas but if you do that I insist you make your own because they have so much more flavor. Lazy of course has one of the best flour tortilla posts out there and you can’t go wrong with going that route. Make sure not to make your tortillas too large or you risk turning this into a burrito and then our sexual innuendos just get thrown out the window.
Supplies
- Skillet
- Mixing bowls – Small to Large
- Knife
- Cooling Rack
- Paper Towels
Ingredient
- 1/4 Head of Cabbage
- 2 Fillets of Fish
- 8 Corn Tortillas
- 2 Tomatoes
- 1/4 Onion
- 1 cup Flour
- 2 Beers
- Salt
- Pepper
- Cheyenne Pepper
- 2 /3 Cup Mayo
- Sour Cream
- 1 Avocado
- Handful of Cilantro
- 1/3 Cup Milk
- 2 Tsp + Lemon Juice
- 2 Tsp + Green Hot Sauce
Looks simple enough right?
Pro Tip: You can make four tacos from one fillet of Tilapia so two fillets gives you eight tacos. I love Math problems! Let’s do another one. If Gecko makes eight tacos and eats 3 how many are left for everyone else?
¡soɔɐʇ ƃuıʞɐǝɹɟ uʍo ɹnoʎ ƃuıʞɐɯ ǝɹ,noʎ ˙ǝuou :ɹǝʍsuɐ
Lettuce begin!
Preperation:
- Open a beer and poor into a nice frozen glass and take a sip … damn that’s good!
- Get your oil going on medium heat for stove top or if using a deep fryer set it to 365 degrees. On my electric stove in between 4 & 5 brings canola oil to just below the smoking point where the oil starts to break down.
- Cut your veggies. You want very fine cabbage slices. I like to take my chef knife and cut the cabbage in half then shave off some cabbage. Cube your tomatoes & onions. Dice your cilantro and slice your avocado into 1/4 inch slivers.
- Combine Tomato, onion, and cilantro into a bowl and mix hit it with a splash of lemon juice and a pinch of salt, mix a little more and BAM! Pico De Gallo! It came out of nowhere I know!
Remember! Keep a fire extinguisher in your kitchen that is made for putting out grease fires and learn how to use it.
Remember! If your oil starts smoking get it some nicorette I mean turn down the heat. Sorry to all the smokers out there, if you want to destroy your lungs with Nicotine and Tar it’s your choice, my lawyer has advised me to STFU.
Make the Sauce
Combine Mayo, Lemon Juice, Green Hot Sauce, Sour Cream, Milk, & garlic salt in a bowl and mix with a wire whisk until well mixed. Now taste it to make sure you like it. If it’s not hot enough had some more hot sauce. If it’s too thick add some milk. Too thin add some mayo etc.
Make the Beer Batter (No the other beer is not for you, you have to share it.)
Combine Flour, Beer, Cheyenne Pepper, Corn Meal, Salt, & Pepper in a bowl and mix until your batter is nice and smooth with no dry pockets of flour.
Pro Tip: Keep a close eye on everything here. You will have two things going at the same time to make sure your food is hot and crunchy. Soggy Tacos suck!
Get your skillet going on your stove set to medium heat. When that gets hot put a couple drops of oil in the skillet and throw a tortilla on top of it move the tortilla around the skillet to get the oil over the entire pan and then let sit.
Dip a slice of fish in the batter and put it into the oil, repeat 2 more times.
Now watch both the fish and the tortillas, flip the tortilla when it starts to get crunchy. We’re only looking for a little bit crunchy on the tortilla, these are soft tacos not hard tacos but the little bit of crunch makes them so much better. You’re going to do this 2 more times as well.
When the fish is golden brown you are going to take it out and put it on a cooling rack with a paper towel and a plate under to catch the oil dripping off. You should be on your third tortilla while you pull your fish out. Layer your taco with fish, avocado, sauce, cabbage, then Pico for all three and serve!
*My lawyer has advised me to state that these tacos are not actually proven to cure cancer. Basing my claim on the fact that no one has died from cancer immediately after eating these tacos is apparently not FDA approved or some crap like that.
**My lawyer has advised me to state that women will more than likely not rip their clothes off for you just because you made them dinner. My lawyer organizes his sock drawer for fun I am sure.
***Please note that if you live with your parents still that in a clinical study we were only able to increase the chances of you getting laid by 3.4 times. Unfortunately for you 3.4 times 0 is still 0 … move out already!
